Just love you for being you!

Jrp 2023

This month I want to talk about something that many of us in our field deal with and it is not easy for everyone to admit too or even worse get accepted for. I have feared  for many years to tell people the truth about what I feel and who I am.

For the last 10 years I have struggled with severe depression and it is only now after 10 years I feel I am on the right medication to help me overcome this. But for those of us who suffer from depression or Bipolar it is hard for us to come out and say that without the fear of being rejected or judged. What I think makes depression so hard for people in our industry is that we are usually making cakes for happy occasions that is so hard when the last thing you feel is happy!

If we had cancer or any other disease people would empathize or even sympathize with us on how we are feeling. But very seldom is that the case with depression or bipolar disorders. We are often, it seems, mistaken for being weak, over emotional, too sad, or just a major Debbie Downer in life. Most people think that it is a decision we make and we could truly fix ourselves if we wanted too. But I can tell you if any of us could change the way we feel when we are depressed, we would. It is so not easy waking up in the morning and the last thing you want to do is get out of bed and deal with the world, usually a world who does not know anything about depression and how it affects us. But most of us do get out of bed and go on with our days as if it was just another day, at least most days.

Did you know depression is the second largest killer amongst persons aged 15-34 years; the fourth among persons aged 35-44 years; the fifth among persons aged 45-54 years.  An average of one every 13 minutes who suffers from depression dies, how sad is that. The likelihood of you knowing someone who has depression is much greater than the likelihood of you knowing someone with another notable disease. But most do not understand depression the same way, even though death can be a major concern for both. Your friends with depression are just not as forthcoming to you about what they are going thru for fear of being judged by you, their family, and society in general. 

Depression Anxiety Copy

My article is not to make anyone feel sorry for those of us who suffer with depression but to help you understand;  and will be less likely to be harsh or cruel to those of us who are very open about who we are and what we go thru. Or to even consider that a person may have depression and not tell you. If you think your friend may suffer from depression all I can say is to maybe try to be a little bit more open minded and forgiving. We truly do not mean to be bitches, we are just trying to cope the best we can. No excuses, believe me, however it is true sometimes we truly cannot help the things we say or do. Yes, it is true we do not suffer from a disease, however we do have a brain disorder and one that many of us struggle to control on a daily basis and many times given the wrong medication by our doctors. We simply may not understand what we’re going through…or if we do, we may not yet understand how to cope with it the right way.

There are many of us in this sugary sweet community ready to be there and understand you. Those of us that suffer also understand. If we ban together we can all keep each other in a good place or at least be there for each other in a way most cannot.

I know being in an industry that is supposed to be so very happy, fun, and sweet is sometimes hard but if you have been in it and followed many decorators on Facebook you will know it is not always so sweet ...so do not worry about it. YOU JUST BE YOU. LOVE who you are and try to embrace your imperfections and disorders. There are many of us here to help you and who you can talk to that will understand. Hell, I am always here for any of you who need me. I get you, I understand what you are going thru. Do not close yourself off. I call Cakesdecor my family for a reason. We ban together and support each other. You do not have to be perfect or what the world considers normal to be accepted here.

If anyone else is brave enough to tell their story I think that would be great. We all need to know we are not the only ones. Sorry if this one was a little deep for some but I write each month from the heart. I just felt like we really needed to discuss this this month. Many make New Year’s resolutions and most have broken them by now, lol. Mine was just to feel better about who I am as a person and I only want that to be the same for others. There is no shame in saying you have depression or bipolar! You are human and real, that is awesome not something you need to hide.

Love you all, Sweet wishes, Shags