I have been very quiet across the board lately and have taken a step back from cakes for a while. I am trying to focus more on my family. Most of you know I am a very open book and don't really keep anything secret so I thought I would talk a little bit about what has been going on in my life and hope it might help some others.
I don't know about everyone else, although from what I see of my cake friends, we all have seemed to give our cake businesses a lot, if not all of our time over the last 5 or so years. I did this so much that I did not even see the fact that my marriage was crumbling beneath my feet. Sure, I knew my marriage was not as stable as it once was, but I was blind to see that my husband had actually checked out of my marriage almost a year ago and was really now just a body in my home.
So a week before Christmas my husband and I decided to separate with him convinced divorce was imminent. Only after telling the kids this news did I truly realize what we had done and that that was not at all what I wanted for my family or myself. So over the last 3 months I have had to change a lot of the way I do things. I used to work most nights until late, past midnight usually and by then my husband was already in bed. I would kill myself to get collaboration pieces together or try and put something new together for the cake world. But I finally saw that all of that work, as great as it was, and as much as that hard work got me to where I am now in the industry, it might have cost me my family as I knew it.
So now I choose to not work as much as possible at night and on weekends. I choose not to give facebook, twitter, Instagram, pinterest (Time wasters) that time I used to be away from my family. I choose to not worry about all the drama in this industry and just let others live in that, as that is not for me. I had enough last year to last a lifetime. Yes, I still do want my career and to keep getting asked into collaborations and to be asked to cake shows and to teach around the world. Just now I want to be more vigilant that those things don't step too far into my personal life. After all what is all of this for if at the end of it I don't have those around me that I love to share it with.
The above image is me to a TEE....and I am sure many of you!
I think sometimes we just get so caught up with where we think we need to be instead of just loving where we are at. In todays society I think that is even more so and especially in this American culture where we want to have everything. The big house, big TV, 2 cars a boat and well just a house filled with too much electronics and not enough family time. So I have decided life is way more important than where I can get in this industry. I am so happy with how far I have come and where I am today. I do not need more than this for my career but I do need my family.
I am sure so many others are fighting this same battle. It is such a fine line to balance a lot of the time. Career, husband, kids chores and well hell, if you are lucky you might even get 5 minutes with yourself. But you usually always come last. We fear if we do not keep up on FB we will become nothing, no one will ever see our work or see what gorgeous creations we can make. Or if you are already getting to be known in the cake world like I am, will they forget about me If I am not putting cake after cake out? Will they still ask me to do shows anymore? These are all our own silly human fears getting the better of us. We always seem to stress the small stuff which usually takes away from the bigger more important stuff. I think we all need to have a gut check every now and then and really assess if what we are doing is really getting us to our goals. Not just in the cake industry, but in life in general. All I ever wished to be in life was a good mother and a great wife. So this cake thing is just a special bonus. One I worked extremely hard for and love but not more than my family! I put it in front for too long and nearly lost it all. I am so glad I may have another chance too keep my family together and still keep my career. I will just make sure I balance the two much better now than I did before. I choose life, love and family first..... cakes second!
If you guys have anymore input I would love to hear what you have to say or your concerns that you feel in this same kind of way. We are all here to support each other so do not be afraid we are here for you also. Sometimes throwing around ideas or letting others know how we dealt with the same issues helps us. I love you all and hope you have a great month.
Sweet Wishes, Shags xoxoxo